Wander
by superwoman1015
Summary: The 11th Doctor wanders the city, looking for people he knows and runs into the last person he wanted.


**Authors Note: **This is my first Doctor Who fic. I've not watched much older Doctor Who, but Donna is by far my favorite new companion.I hope I did the characters justice.

**Wander**

He'd taken to roaming the shops, ever since he saw Amy and Rory that one day. And the perfume ad, that haunted his dreams. He would wander and watch and try to see if he could find them, find anyone he knew.

The TARDIS had dropped him at a cemetery the other day, one more friend gone. At least he didn't miss the final act…though he'd wished he'd been able to tell Sarah Jane one more time what she'd meant to him, to his past self.

He wondered, and River would not tell, if Amy and Rory would have other children. Children not born of the TARDIS, not half Time Lord, not likely to regenerate and live forever. But in his wanderings he would watch for children with red hair and round faces.

All he'd seen of them though was more perfume ads. The girl who was tired of waiting had been poster girl for three more perfumes. River told him that Amy had helped design them. He'd stopped by a counter one day to smell them, they reminded him of the TARDIS and Amy and Rory.

And then one day in a shop in London, he heard a voice, a voice that made him smile, sigh, cringe and want to cry all at once. He didn't bother hiding, or running, that would just draw attention to him. Even though he looked different he couldn't take any chances.

He didn't look for her, didn't turn around. But he remembered the last time he'd seen her image…so much guilt tied up in death. So much pain and suffering. He wondered if things had turned out OK for her. He knew that with the lottery she should be well off, but that didn't mean she would be happy.

He could still hear her talking, but he wasn't listening in, or that's what he told himself. She was on the phone, she had to be, no one was talking in the pauses in the conversation. And then he heard a squeal, a happy sound, one he hadn't heard since he'd looked after Alfie all those years ago. And a small voice, a voice of a child, musical and light.

She had children! More than one. She must still be with Sean. He tried not to look, he didn't want to look (or that's what he told himself) but he turned to find her. He had to know. And there she was.

Brilliant red hair, pushing a baby buggy with a toddler in tow. The little one he'd heard was a girl, that much he was sure of, the curly pigtails and pink dress was a giveaway. And the baby…well, he didn't know, but he would like to believe that it was a boy; he somehow knew that would be what Donna would want.

And as he watched her out of the corner of his eye he was overwhelmed with a sadness so deep, a guilt that so touched the depth of his soul he thought he would collapse right there on the floor of the shop. He wasn't sure how he made it back to the TARDIS, but he must have as the next thing he noticed was the cool metal of the floor under his face and hands. He wasn't sure how he ended up on the floor, but that's where he was. He could feel her moving through the vortex though he didn't remember telling her to go anywhere.

When the TARDIS stopped moving, when it was still and quite all he could do was lie there. He could only think of Donna, of the time they had shared, of the things they had done, the lives they had saved, the people they had lost. And of that final day, that day when he sacrificed her life to save it.

He almost didn't hear the door swing open and the sound of foot falls on the floor. He could feel the vibrations as the person bounded over the floor.

"Hello, Sweetie! Where are we off to today?" River. He voice was chipper. Didn't she know how sad he was, how horrible he was?

"Doctor?" Rivers voice, less jovial now, came closer. He could feel her kneeling beside him, taking him in her arms. "What's wrong?"

He struggled for words. He knew River knew about Donna, she'd told him that, back in the Library…The Library, where he'd thought he'd lost Donna. But she'd come back, he'd saved her. And then he'd destroyed her. Took her mind from her. Her wonderful, brilliant mind.

He didn't know when he'd started crying, but he could feel the tears on his cheek. And River held him, rocked him, didn't ask. So unlike her. He thought she must know somehow that he would talk when he could, when he was ready.

He didn't know how long he sat there in her arms, sobbing, but eventually he could cry no more. And then he spoke.

"Have I ever told you about Donna?"

"Donna? Who's she?" Her voice was light, but there was still an undercurrent of concern for him.

"Donna Noble, savior of the universe and one of the best mates you could ever have."


End file.
